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Philogamus
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Gyue place ye Poetes fine | ||
Bow doune now and encline | ||
For nowe the Muses nyne | ||
So Sacred and Diuine | ||
5 | In Parnase holy Hyll | |
Haue wrought theyr worthy wyll | ||
And by theyr goodly skyll | ||
Uppon that myghty Mountayne | ||
In Hellycons Fountayne | ||
10 | (That alwayes doth remayne | |
Synce Pegase made it flowe | ||
As by your bokes we knowe) | ||
Haue washed the lyppes of one | ||
That slepte not longe agone | ||
15 | That forked Hyll vpon | |
Who after that anon | ||
As he had sene the muses | ||
Newe Poetry he vses | ||
And yours he cleane refuses. | ||
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20 | For wakyng sodenly | |
He wrote ryght wortheily | ||
Suche kynde of Poetrye | ||
As neuer one of you | ||
Had hearde or sene tyl nowe | ||
25 | He wrote I tel you playne | |
An Antygraphe full mayne | ||
None suche on thys syde Spayne | ||
Antipus to suppresse | ||
And clerly to compesse | ||
30 | Wherein he fayneth no lesse | |
But that yf God were dead | ||
He myght be raysed in Bread | ||
Wherfore ye Poetes al | ||
And clarkes bothe greate and smal | ||
35 | Submyt your-selues ye shal | |
And downe before hym fall | ||
And neuer not to ryse | ||
For you cowlde not deuyse | ||
So greate an interpryse | ||
40 | As thys new poet dyd | |
Whose connyng is yet hyd | ||
And many other workes | ||
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That secretly yet lurckes | ||
None suche amonge the Turkes | ||
45 | Nor Saracens can be founde | |
The Gospellers to confounde. | ||
Hys workes are so well bownd | ||
And buylded on suche grounde | ||
As cannot wel decay | ||
50 | Tyl the sande be washed away. | |
He is skylled so wonderously | ||
In the scyence of Masonrye. | ||
Wherfore I wyl not spare | ||
Hys learnyng to declare | ||
55 | Although wyth myckle care | |
Because I want the wayes | ||
Thys Poete for to prayse | ||
And fame vpon hym rayse | ||
That floweth in these dayes, | ||
60 | Wythe suche exceadynge Eloquence | |
And Superfluous Sapyence | ||
Imbute w[yt]h Insuffycyence wyth] wtyh 1548 | ||
Of learnyng and Intellygence | ||
Whose wrytynges are laudable | ||
65 | So new-founde and not able | |
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I tell you wythout fable | ||
That no man vnder skye | ||
Can prayse them worthely | ||
They shewe them-selues so fayer | ||
70 | That none can them appayer | |
And therfore now beholde | ||
And see how well he coulde | ||
Describe them that are bolde | ||
To marry beyng sworne | ||
75 | To kepe them chast beforne | |
Makyng theyr vow a scorne | ||
And takyng to them wyues, | ||
Wyth them to leade theyr lyues | ||
But wyth these blooddes he stryues | ||
80 | And out of towne them dryues | |
Wyth eloquent taxacions | ||
And vyolent vexacyons | ||
And earneste exprobracyons | ||
Wythe instant insultacions | ||
85 | And straunge denomynacyons | |
That none among all nacyons | ||
Can shew suche learned fasshyons | ||
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As can thys noble scholer | ||
He may well weare a coller | ||
90 | Of .H. for hys humanitee | |
And for hys greate Urbanytye | ||
He may weare vppon hys Bonnet | ||
A double .P. well set | ||
And wyth a traye aboue | ||
95 | In tokenynge of the loue | |
That towarde hym he beareth | ||
Whyche men to Chastenes sweareth. | ||
Wherfore loke vp and see | ||
Yf ye beleue not me | ||
100 | Your owne Iudges to be | |
For easely may ye spye | ||
Yf ye looke earnestly | ||
And well hys latten trye | ||
That oute of Barbarye | ||
105 | Hys learninge he hath fett | |
And all hys knowledge gett. | ||
For thys I dare well Sweare | ||
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Here can no such fyne gear | ||
Be had but onely theare, | ||
110 | Aduise it well and reade | |
For here it doth succede. | ||
O Insensati | ||
All marryed preistes that be Nupti | ||
Barbis disguisati | ||
115 | Carnales hedos Uocati | |
Quorum deus venter | ||
To the belly they be bound by Indenture | ||
Uentri semper obedire | ||
Uulueque seruire | ||
120 | Quorum Sathan est Pater | |
Et Lecheria Mater | ||
Thys Genera Uiperarum | ||
Runnes per Orbem Terrarum | ||
O God omnipotent | ||
125 | Qui regnas et viuis | |
Sende shame and punishement | ||
To all Prestes and theyr wyues | ||
And let them goo voyde of all grace | ||
Et infernorum supplicia | ||
130 | Wyth Lucyfer to haue a Place | |
In sempiterna supplicia. | ||
The Prayse of the Meter. |
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O meter passing measure | ||
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Prouokinge sporte and pleasure | ||
O treatise of hygh treasure | ||
135 | So Typycal in fygure | |
None suche from lyn to lygure | ||
Lapte vp in suche fyne latyn | ||
As passeth both syl[k]letter broken and satyn | ||
O Homer so Heroical | ||
140 | And Percius Satyricall | |
Where are your workes Poetycale | ||
O Horace where art thou | ||
Uyrgyll and Ouide now | ||
And all the rest of you | ||
145 | Let se who dare auow | |
One suche a worke to shew | ||
No no, ful wel I know | ||
Take al you on a rowe | ||
Ye cannot do it I trow | ||
150 | Not one of you that wrote | |
Suche Satyres wel I wot | ||
Yf he your bokes had sene | ||
He wolde haue shamed them clene | ||
You had no Peers you wene | ||
155 | Because wyth lawrel grene | |
Crowned you were by ryght | ||
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But oure newe Poete myght | ||
Be crowned wyth the Uyne | ||
And Garland Canaby[n]e | ||
160 | For engyne and for wytt | |
The muses dyd admytt | ||
Not onely hym to yt | ||
But gaue hym so muche grace | ||
That yf he vewe the face | ||
165 | Of one In any place | |
He maye make hym wyth spede | ||
A Poete to procede. | ||
The profe therof indede | ||
Ful playnly dyd appere | ||
170 | Wythin thys halfe yere | |
For one that was a Smytthe | ||
A forger at the stytthe | ||
A myghtye man of pytthe | ||
And stronge of lym and lytthe | ||
175 | When he had bene hym wythe | |
And talked but a whyle | ||
He wrote so hygh a style | ||
As none wythin a myle | ||
Coulde fashyon wyth a fyle | ||
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180 | Wyth al hys wyt and wyle, | |
Wel wel for all ye smyle | ||
Certes I tel you treuth | ||
A_lack yt is greate ruth | ||
That men wyl not beleue | ||
185 | The gyftes that Muses geue | |
Besyde all thys hys Smythery | ||
Uulcanus taught hym certanly | ||
Wher-with he wrough[t] right curyously wrought] wroughe 1548 | ||
As ye may se yt euydently | ||
190 | Conteyned in the testymony | |
And latter wylle of Heresy. | ||
For there He sheweth Poetry | ||
Hyghly professyng Romery | ||
Lo, now I say therfore | ||
195 | Your bokes we nede no more | |
They maye be rent and tore | ||
What though ye crye and rore | ||
We nede not now your lore | ||
For yf thys arte were drownd | ||
200 | Agayne it may be found | |
Euen by the very sound | ||
Of these new Poetes Tooles | ||
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They be no smalle fooles, | ||
If they be red In scholes | ||
205 | You may syt downe on stooles | |
And so to take your rest | ||
As I suppose it best. | ||
But well ye thyncke I Geyst | ||
By cocke for all your lokes | ||
210 | You maye claspe vp your bookes | |
And then go kepe the roockes | ||
Or els wyth hangle-hookes | ||
Go fyshe and take some flookes | ||
For cleane your cleargy crookes | ||
215 | And goeth no more on ryght | |
Synce these beganne to wryght | ||
Ye haue no more no might | ||
To florysh in theyr syght | ||
But thys I wyll you tell | ||
220 | The Mason doth excell | |
Wherfore he may ful well | ||
Aboue all beare the Bell | ||
Wherfore wyth all my power | ||
I wyll eche daye and hower | ||
225 | Aduaunce hys hyghe honour | |
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Praiyng these Muses Sacre | ||
Wyth Hellicons Lauacre | ||
To washe me by theyr ayde | ||
To do as I haue saide. | ||
*The prayse of the Poete. |
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230 | O Poete so impudent | |
Whyche neuer yet was studente | ||
To thee, the Goddes prudente | ||
Minerua is illudente | ||
Thou wrytest thynges dyffuse | ||
235 | Incongrue, and confuse | |
Obfuscate and obtuse | ||
No man the lyke doth vse | ||
Among the Turckes or Iewes | ||
Alwayes inuentyng newes | ||
240 | That are incomparable | |
They be so fyrme and stable | ||
Lyke as a Shyppe is able | ||
Wythout Ancre and Cable | ||
Roother Maste or Sayle | ||
245 | Pully Rope or Nayle | |
In Wynde Weather or Hayle | ||
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To guyde both top and tayle | ||
And not the course to fayle | ||
So thys our Poet maye | ||
250 | Wythout a stopp or staye | |
In cunnynge wend the way | ||
As wel by darke as day | ||
And neuer go astray | ||
Yf yt be as they say. | ||
255 | O Poet rare and Recent | |
Dedecorate / and endecent | ||
Insolent and insensate | ||
Contendyng and condensate | ||
Obtused and obturate | ||
260 | Obumbylate, obdurate | |
Sparyng no Prest or Curate | ||
Cyuylyan or Rurate | ||
That be alredy marryed | ||
And from theyr vow bene varyed | ||
265 | Wherto the scrypture them caried | |
They myght as wel haue taryed | ||
I sweare by the northdoore Rood | ||
That stowte was whyle he stood | ||
That they had bene as good | ||
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270 | To haue solde theyr best blew hood | |
For I am in suche a moode | ||
That for my power and parte | ||
Wyth al my wyt and arte | ||
Wyth whole intent and harte | ||
275 | I wyl so at them Darte | |
That some of them shal farte | ||
Before they feele it smarte. | ||
Coulde not these bloods be pleased | ||
Wyth mens wyues to be eased | ||
280 | And in their daughtars seased | |
As wel as the other greased | ||
Though thus they had not preased? | ||
In fayth they shalbe feased | ||
For I set to my hand | ||
285 | In fyght wyth them to stand | |
By water and by lande | ||
By grauell and by Sande | ||
And by the salte sea-strond | ||
Beholde here is a wand | ||
290 | To beate them back and bone | |
I trow a thyng alone | ||
To make these gallantes grone | ||
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And withe our poetes ayde | ||
They shalbe so dismayde | ||
295 | So fearfull and afrayde | |
That downe they shalbe layde, | ||
As thycke as hoppes and hayle. | ||
Nowe wyll I them assayle | ||
And threashe them withe my Flayle | ||
300 | To marre these married Preistes | |
I fyghte wyth bothe my Fystes | ||
Looke on the fraye who Lystes. | ||
A Latten Clubbe, or Hurle-Batte. |
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O UOS Insensati | ||
Ex Sathana Nati | ||
305 | Satyrique Uocati | |
Barbis Detonsati | ||
Loti Leuigati | ||
Corollis designati | ||
Quo sic effeminati | ||
310 | Molles et Parati | |
Sitis, Stupro dati | ||
Petulantes Hoedi | ||
Turpes et Cinoedi | ||
Per quos Pios ledi | ||
315 | Ac Insontes Cedi | |
Certo possit Credi | ||
Procreantes Hibride | ||
Sed Amicti Nebride | ||
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Quod non estis Nupte | ||
320 | Eo plus Corrupti | |
Castum profitentes | ||
Non custodientes | ||
Uerum odientes | ||
Falsumque Docentes | ||
325 | Uxores non habentes | |
Alias Conquerentes | ||
Nubere abnuentes | ||
Incestui cedentes | ||
Lupi Existentes | ||
330 | Lupam subsequentes | |
Priapo seruientes | ||
In Deum statuentes | ||
Ipsum_que Colentes Colentes] Colentess 1548 | ||
Uuluas Indagantes | ||
335 | Illecebras Amantes | |
Uelut Scortatores | ||
Aliorum Uxores | ||
Filias et Sorores | ||
Seruas et Ancillas | ||
340 | Seducentes Illas | |
Rapitis Ubique | ||
Uiuentes quam oblique | ||
Nigri Necromantici | ||
Hydri Hydromantici | ||
345 | Putridi Piromantici | |
Incantantes Idolatres | ||
Publici Pseudolatres | ||
Auum Sathanam habetis | ||
Patrem Papamque Tenetis | ||
350 | Matris Gremioque sedetis | |
Gomor eam Nominetis | ||
Cum his Penasque Luetis | ||
Lupinis Uestibus | ||
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Caudis et Testibus | ||
355 | Dediti Incestibus | |
Uiperarum Genus | ||
Quorum dea Uenus | ||
Infernorum Tenus | ||
Ducet Imperpetuum | ||
360 | Ad Ditis Supplicium | |
Id quod Uetet Ille | ||
Qui Seruat Millia Mille. | ||
ECQUID UOS BEO? | ||
Lo now how like you thys? | ||
I trowe I dyd you Blisse | ||
365 | And them as woorthy is | |
To dyng tyll they shall Pisse | ||
Me-thynke I doo not misse | ||
Though my Crowne be not scraped | ||
Nor I in Order mysshaped | ||
370 | Nor for suche woorshyppe gaped | |
Nor anoyted Preyste wyth Oyle | ||
Nor Creame or other Soyle | ||
Nor tooke suche fylthy Foyle | ||
Yet wyll I tugge and Toyle | ||
375 | Tosse turne and Turmoyle | |
Cumbre Clowte and Coyle | ||
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Dismembre and Dispoyle | ||
All them that I maye catche | ||
That dayly wayte and watche | ||
380 | Feacte wenches to vpsnatche | |
And marrye to their Matche | ||
But I wyll them dispatche | ||
And byggely on them beate | ||
For all their wyues so feacte | ||
385 | That are so Nyce and Neate | |
Whiche sittyng on their Seate | ||
Of Scriptures wyll Intreate | ||
And fayne woulde vs defeacte | ||
Wyth woordes grymme and greate | ||
390 | From Beades of woodde and Geate | |
And from our myghtie Meate | ||
That is, our God of wheate | ||
Puffe, so I Swelle and Sweate | ||
I fridge I frothe and freate | ||
395 | Of thys Uncowthe to thynke | |
But suerly shall they Drynke | ||
Tyll aboue the grounde they stynke | ||
Wyth a Lyrycum Twynke | ||
For I can neuer Swynke | ||
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400 | As longe as our Uulcanus | |
And lusty Longimanus | ||
Wyll sticke whyle he is Sanus | ||
For though he be Prophanus | ||
He is not nothyng Uanus | ||
405 | Nor learned lyke Alanus | |
I tell you he is no Na[n]us | ||
But one of stature stoute | ||
No Lubber nor no Loute | ||
He wyll reache rounde aboute | ||
410 | And ventyng wyth hys snoute | |
Wyll touche them toppe and towte | ||
And all theyr rufflyng rowte | ||
Wyth Clarckly clubbes to cloute | ||
For fyersly hath he fought | ||
415 | Endeuouryng to dryue oute | |
The reader in our queare | ||
That draweth to hym here | ||
Men commyng farre and neare | ||
There dyd oure Smythe appeare | ||
420 | With countenaunce so cleare | |
Full chaungeable in cheare | ||
And dapper as a deare | ||
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Chefely he dyd hym charge | ||
How he had caught at large | ||
425 | More then he coulde dyscharge | |
Or fynde in text or Marge | ||
Concernyng Consecratyon | ||
And Transubstanciation | ||
Or all oure Transmutacion | ||
430 | And Substaunce Alteracion | |
Deniyng Ueneracion | ||
And also Adoration | ||
In tyme of Ministration | ||
And that Non dentibus | ||
435 | Panem Prementibus | |
Nullis Euentibus | ||
Christum Gustari | ||
Nec Mancipari | ||
Posse vel decipi | ||
440 | Sensus, cum Recipi | |
Dabitur Panis | ||
Sed Smyth Immanis | ||
Abiit Inanis | ||
But or he wente awaye | ||
445 | He trymmed hym I saye | |
Wyth goodly tantes and gaye | ||
And wyth a tryggum_tray | ||
Lyke a fyne Philologus | ||
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Or rather a Pantolobus | ||
450 | He called hym Spermologus | |
And wold haue a Dialogus | ||
But were there a Catalogus | ||
Of hym and al hys sect | ||
He myght be chef elect | ||
455 | These reders to correct | |
For wel can he obiect | ||
And Subtelly suspect | ||
In thynges that be dyrect | ||
But sure yf he be chect | ||
460 | Your corrage is deiect | |
And al your hope in vayne | ||
Yet styl wyl I remayne | ||
To take for you greate payne | ||
Yf ye wyl me retayne | ||
465 | And put myselfe in parrel | |
To fyght thus in your quarrell | ||
Yf thou O Poet once | ||
That well canst cowche thy stones | ||
Or faber wyth hys mall | ||
470 | To me for helpe wyll call | |
Either wyth boke or word | ||
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Soone wyl I be the thyrd | ||
So if I fynde you kynde | ||
Certes you shal me bynde | ||
475 | To shew that is behynd | |
Wel wel ye know my mynde. | ||
LO thus Philogamus | ||
After thys sorte | ||
Helpeth Misogamus | ||
480 | Hym to comforte | |
Agaynst Monogamus | ||
That dothe reporte | ||
That youre Apogamus | ||
Is but aborte. | ||
FINIS: |