Step 2. Take some time to reflect
Bullying is a repeated negative behaviour, that harms someone’s physical or psychological wellbeing.
This guide will help you reflect on what’s happening and identify the behaviours, to make it easier to talk about and resolve.
Using words like ‘inappropriate’, ‘bullying’ or ‘harassment’ can raise the temperature of a situation, making them more difficult to resolve. This section contains a guide that will help you to describe the behaviour you have experienced, witnessed or been accused of.
It starts with a behaviours diary so that you can more accurately recall what happened. All of this will make it easier to discuss, feedback and resolve the situation.
Studies have shown that by stepping into other people’s shoes for a moment, imagining what might have been going on for them, we boost empathy and understanding, which can also help to resolve conflict. A first step you might like to take is to reflect on the situation and the interaction using the ‘give / get’ coaching model which can be found in the ‘Step 2. Reflect’ guide. This will help you to work through the other person’s behaviour and its impact on you, and to think too about what you can do to influence the situation in ways that work for you.
If you are involved in a situation where behaviours are not up to the standards we all expect, take a moment first to reflect on the discussions you have had as a team to agree your culture and behaviours.
- What is your team’s definition of your values? What did you agree this looks like in day-to-day behaviours?
- What behaviours did you agree as a team you wanted to role model and remove?
If your team hasn’t yet had these discussions, you may want to suggest now is a good time to do so.
You can use the guide ‘Step 1. Creating a positive culture’ to guide discussions.
Step 2. Reflect - in more detail
- Take some time to reflect - introduction
- What kind of behavour is it?
- Our definitions of behaviour
- Reflection coaching
Download or view a PDF of the Step 2. Reflect guide
Next: Take some time to reflect