Recap of your options
A witness
Creating a positive culture.
Refer to your team’s values-led behaviours. Use ‘Creating a positive culture’ to agree expectations of how you behave with each other to create a safe team culture. This makes it easier to role model behaviours, to speak up and to ’hold the mirror’ to ourselves more easily, too.
The behaviour may be acceptable.
Be careful not to jump in, take sides or make judgments before you know the full story. Be supportive but fair.
There are often grey areas between what different people see as acceptable, for example the tone of voice people use, or how we are feeling more broadly when others speak to us, can make a big difference. Take a moment to step into the other person’s shoes, think about your own reaction, and resolve the issue together.
This is a one-off act of inappropriate behaviour.
If it’s only happened rarely there is a good chance to ‘nip it in the bud’. Use the guide in ’Direct feedback’ to plan how you can give BUILD feedback, and practice with a trusted colleague first. Take a moment to step into the shoes of the person who did this. If it only happened once or rarely, then they may be under pressure themselves, and they may not have meant to cause you distress.
This is very inappropriate behaviour and possibly bullying.
Review your options in the 'Witness' guide
- Stay calm, try not to react or take sides
- Speak up there and then using BUILD, or in a safe place later
- Listen to both sides
- Write down what you saw and heard
- Check they are OK and continue to offer support
- If it happens again you can escalate informally or formally